Voting today for the first time ever

My wife sure picked a doozy to start with

Typical line of people waiting to vote

Hello, fellow voters! So many of you have already voted. So awesome. My wife Catherine and I will vote this morning. This will be the first time Cat has ever voted in an election. (Born in England, she only recently bit the ol’ citizenship bullet.)

Cat is a brown woman. I think the reason she finally became a U.S. citizen was to vote for a brown woman for president. It killed her that she couldn’t vote for Obama.

“Don’t forget to vote for him!” she told me on the morning of November 4, 2008.

“I won’t!” I protested. “Why would I? Stop saying that! I know how to vote! I’ve done it before.”

“Obama. You’re voting for Obama.”

“Oh my god. Am I gonna have to call immigration services to come get you?”

“Obama!”

So I did the only thing left to me: I called immigration services to come get my insane wife. But Cat’s a tricky one. She hid in our bedroom closet for a week. And punched me every time I went in there for some clothes.

Two weeks ago I said to Cat, “Let’s vote early. It’s so easy.”

“No way!” she said. “I want the whole voting day experience! I wanna see the spectacle of it. Everyone standing in line, waving little flags, and all the groups handing our flyers and trying to tell you how to vote and everything.”

“Waving little flags? Nobody—”

“I wanna go! We’re going!”

And by God, we will go! I’m looking forward to it, for real. Because, you know: how everyone standing in line waves little flags the whole time.

I said it in my Substack Notes thing awhile back, and I’ll say it again: Trump is going to get his ass handed to him tonight. It won’t even be close. The polls for this were never not ridiculously flawed, because they couldn’t possibly account for all the women, young people and seriously pissed-off boomers who are going to come out in droves today to make sure that Trump is sitting on the first garbage barge to leave the harbor.

He’s going to be humiliated. And it’ll be by such a wide margin that when he brays his calls to action about it, the only losers who’ll show up for that fight will only increase his humiliation.

And then his indictments and convictions will start rolling in. And then—well, I’m just gonna leave that there for now

But as for today: Voting time! Post participating in that preciously patriotic privilege, Cat and I will head off to our respective jobs.

Oh—I hear her stirring downstairs now. It’s 6:10 a.m. here as I write this (on our couch). So I gotta get going if we’re gonna make it to our voting place by 7ish.

Oh, but wait! I totally forgot to get us our little flags to wave around while we’re standing in line this morning!

Well. I’m sure someone will have a couple of extras we can borrow. (Dang it! Now I really do want a couple of little flags for Cat and I to wave while we’re standing in line waiting to vote. That’d be so funny! I’m getting them.)

Love you! Happy Voting Day!

Next time: Using your money to help more people.