What the good angel on Joe's shoulder needs to whisper to him right now

Don’t blow this, stud.

Joe, listen. You’re a stud. You’ve always been a stud. Everyone knows that. And you’re so much more than a stud. You’re good. You’re honest, and kind, and wise, and you know what it means to work, day in and day out, every day of your life. All you’ve ever done is give to others. The world loves you for that.

And you’re going to be remembered as one of the greatest presidents this country has ever had. Nobody can ever take that away from you. Facts are facts.

But Joe. Don’t be a fool. It’s time for you to ease on out of this race, but quickly. You have no choice. You must do it for the good of the country. The country, Joe! The very thing you’ve been fighting for, your whole life!

Every minute you stay in this race you exponentially increase Trump’s chance of becoming the next President of the United States. You know that’s true. Before the debate, you’d have left that tub of toxic waste choking in the dust behind you. But now?

Joe, listen: You looked weak. You sounded weak. And why shouldn’t you? You’re old. You’re old! God bless you for it! That doesn’t make you any less awesome. It makes you more awesome.

But here’s the thing now. Trump smells blood. And so do all of his hyena followers. Because they know that suddenly, out of nowhere, the impossible has actually happened: their guy—that convicted felon, that wanna-be fascist dictator, that thick skid mark on the underwear of this country—now has a real chance at winning it all. They’ll view it as a miracle that has shown them, yet again, that God wants Trump to be King of America.

But of course it’s no miracle that now Trump has a real chance of becoming president again. It’s you who gave him that chance, Joe.

You’ve need to face that. You need to let that truth make you do the right thing. Because if you don’t, history won’t remember you as the true hero you are. It’ll remember you as the guy who rang the death knell of the American democratic system of government with the mallet of his own ego.

Millions of people who were inclined to vote for Trump, but who would have stayed home on election day because they knew he stood little to no chance of actually winning the race, have now been galvanized into feeling very excited about voting and fighting for what they know may very well have just became the winning team. That’s why suddenly Trump has all this money pouring in. Everybody loves a winner.

And millions and millions of more voters who would have voted for you, but who now won’t because they think you’re too old for the job, but who also would never in a million years vote for Trump, are now guaranteed to stay home on election day. They’ll think, “Hey, why vote, when my only two choices are between a guy who’s too evil for the job, and a guy who’s too old for it?” So they’ll just stay home instead.

And that’s how you could very well lose this election Joe: by pulling out of their homes people who will vote for Trump, and pushing back in their homes people who won’t vote for you or Trump.

Don’t blow this, buddy. You’re not the only person who can beat Trump. Let someone else do it. Let someone step into the ring and square off with Trump who is clearly up to the task of kicking his sorry ass. What the people of this country want and need right now is someone who can stand up to that bully, someone who can take him on, blow for blow, and finally give that lying conman the beating he deserves.

You’re not the person for that exhausting job anymore, Joe. Tag someone into the ring who is.

Tag Kamala. You did, after all, promise you’d do exactly that. Now’s the time to do it. You know good and well that Harris would run over Trump like a steam roller over a rat. Don’t forget that when she was California’s Attorney General for eight years, Kamala was a famously relentless prosecutor. As a U.S. Senator for eight years she proved herself a champion of justice. You remember how she grilled Kavanaugh like the slab of fatty pork butt he is. No one else had the balls to take him on the way she did.

Her brilliant mind and fighting spirit—not to mention just her flat-out kindness—is why you brought Kamala on board with you in the first place, Joe. It’s time to cut that thoroughbred loose. Let her run the race she was born to run. Don’t listen to the hand-wringers and doomsayers who cry about American not being ready to elect a black woman. That is old thinking. Americans already elected a black man—twice. And Trump’s already lost the popular vote to a woman—a woman who would have won that election if the Democratic National Committee hadn’t had its head so far up its own ass that it failed to see or hear what was actually going on in the country.

Don’t fall victim now to that same kind of blind, arrogant hubris, Joe. Show that you understand what’s happened. Tell Americans that while you still naturally tend to think you are, you’ve come to realize that, alas, you are not this guy anymore:

People will more than understand this perfectly human confession. They’ll love you for displaying the same honesty and candor they’ve always loved you for.

And they’ll thank you for showing that you are, still, a great man, and a great leader.

Bow out, Joe. Let Kamala finish this race. That’s how America wins. That’s how the world wins. That’s how you remain the winner you’ve always been.